Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Trying to spread the previous post as fast as possible XD

ZZT Bryan smartass go block your face on your own blog with a retarded smiley face.
So unfortunate no one came up with anymore history-making quotes.
BS Mr. Cheong so smart don’t come on a day that we wouldn’t see him anyway. WT BS. Still. J.Lau somehow got his wish while his MC wouldn’t make a freaking bit of diff.
Candice: "Eh so did you post?!"
Candice: "Oh OMG I’m so screwed. OMG I can see myself getting screwed."
Yea especially after I like showed Byorn that post. And the way he like laughed.
No. Guffawed is a more accurate term.
And I like am having the idea that you are SERIOUSLY eager about whatever you said yesterday. YOU CAN SEE YOURSELF GETTING SCREWED???

LOL stupid assignment need to be changed so many times I decided to rewrite it.
Anyways. We were going through the tutorial which somehow took up like more than 50% of the lesson. And I was using my laptop to play games about throughout the whole lesson. Sad Mrs. Chong noticed.
Mrs. Chong: R U MH-ing???*looks at my screen to see my desktop. LOL. Windows+D owns.
Me: If you are familiar with that app, I guess you would know that Mouse hunt generally does not require that much clicking.
Mrs. Chong: Cos like I am getting suspicious of the 106 ppl who are using their laptop during lessons to MH…
Hmm I think I better give my brother a serious talk about this. For playing such a pathetic game when there are so many other better ones in the world. XD
Slacked around for the rest of the lesson.
WOOT Ms. Lam nvr come so can slack. Like crap.
Then Ms. Lee comes in and says we like can move the PE lesson to 11.30 a.m. WOOT.
What a happy hour.
LOL KM and Daryl and Jit were like trying to impress with their failuremagic tricks. At least like KM’s ones half-work.
Candice: What card is this?
Jit: It’s 2 of diamonds!
Candice: No…
Jit: You sure?
Candice: Yea…
Jit: NOW IT IS! *stuffs the 2 of dimes cards into her hand
LOL Climbing up and down stairs is so fun. Can cheat like nobody’s business except ours XD.
LOL I own at Captain’s Ball. Whole hall manx. Jit couldn’t do the **** he pwns Sooraj with. Though our win was because like Ms. Lee is equal to about 10 of them , and Daryl’s team like does nothing to catch the ball.
ZZT YX got a hamster and it went boogabooga in his house with 6 +1 ppl chasing after it?
You know, maybe I should have tagged along. So there wouldn’t be space to move around let alone catch a hamster.

Monday, September 28, 2009

Nobody will read this...I don't hope!

Today was, to say the least, a day of…EPIC proportions. Just saying the least.
That Mr. Cheong trying to be funny or something want to go change date to 25th LOL. I mean oyu can go off for convocation then come back at night right. XD.
Still. Good that like almost everything’s planned. Expcet that some how we cant change the date to 25 because, er…27th is Hari Raya Puasa??
We were like planning for wut to bring for the chalet. So like all the guys were demanding pot and the girls were demanding alcoholics.
Me: Can like get the alcohol or ethanol from the chem lab then go mix with water…
Ji: OMG my Chem fails…
Yea I like totally agree…
Now the next few sentences, on a postable scale of 0-100, it rates a…er…crap too high I can’t reach it. Anyway.
Me: So like wut ARE we going to do in the nights. I can be sure I’m NOT going to sleep.
KM: F***! (I mean, that is like totally…normal coming from him)
Candice: You want?
Everyone: O.o for a moment
Ji: Cakey-nya?!etc.etc.etc.
Me: What are you saying?!etc.etc.etc.
Ji: I think we should get an extra room for Cake and KM
Me: WHAT?!
Ji: Cake?!
Candice: Huh I thought you meant a separate room between me and KM
Me: We were talking about and extra room FOR you AND KM
Candcie: Oh nonono…
So, like she goes off to emo for about 5 minutes…on the floor?!
Some time later…
Candice: Actually I haven’t say finish…
Me: Oh, Yea, OK. So you want to say like…more?!!!
Candice: Oh er w8w8w8w8 lemme think…
Me: Yea, well, then think long and hard….
OK so the Mr. Tang was pissing…again, somehow. At least I got other stuff to occupy my time other than whatever he craps.
WOOT there was this issue with his retarded laptop, so he went outto fetch some IT guy, so like Clarice and Ji took to chance to…catfight or something.
J.Lau: Even cats don’t fight like this!
Me(to Sooraj): Lemme show you some magic!
Stands up and says: I thonk I should break up this fight!
Then I walk around the classroom once, they run around the classroom once, and they STILL manage to continue fighting…in the form of rock-paper-scissors.
I can tell you that Tang guy is beginning to get on my goddamn nerves. That feller had to nerve to returntell us off for wasting his time. I mean, what are we paying $300 a month for?
THEN he somehow managed to piss Nikki, who SOMEHOW managed to piss him in return, then he was somehow emo-ing behind his laptop for the next few slides.
So he almost caught me playing games, and I realised HOW useful full screen is. So I like just changed tabs, and tycoed him with a question of mine. So like he had to totally ignore me. Wtnoob
LOL The spelling was like so riddled with YY’s usual plethora of laughs.
YY: Of course! I checked Galen’s with mine b4 handing up!
Everyone: O.o
Ms Mak: There’s a penalty for cheating…
YY: Er…this is a spelling only…
Ms. Mak: It’s still part of CAP.
Everyone: ROFLMAO
EH Mr. Lim next time stand in front leh. Let me play Tainted Crusades. XD.
LOL thanks to all the grups that made such a short lesson possible. WOOT.
NVM. WJ won’t be MH-ing in school for prolly a week for killing my character.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Just re-posting this for...I dunno. Re-posting's sake?

1. I've come to realize that my hair:
Is just too freaking LONG. I mean u guys can see right. Can't figure out why Mr. Chua never get me a free haircut.

2. I've come to realize that when I talk:
I try not to swear. At least out loud. XD.

4. I've come to realize that all I really need:
Is to not live my kind of life.

5. I've come to realize that I've lost:
My life. WOOT

6. I've come to realize that I hate it when:
I realized that Mr. Valles has the attention span of the average dustbin. Or love it.

7. I've come to realize that if I'm drunk:
There wouldn't be a single celibate guy left. *Evil grin

8. I've come to realize that money:
Is a edible item.

9. I've come to realize that when I get old:
I'll stay gay

10. I've come to realize that I'll always be:
A gay. Now isn't that like repeated?

11. I've come to realize that I have a crush on:
Me. EGO EGO EGO. Oh,. and Daryl, KM, Jit Wu, Sooraj and Bryan.

12. I've come to realize that the last time I cried was:
Er...2 years ago...I think

13. I've come to realize that my cell phone:
Is one of its kind...dun dun dun dun

14. I've come to realize that when I wake up in the morning:
I tend to try to go back to sleep. xP

15. I've come to realize that before I go to sleep at night I:
Think of Lady Gaga's Poker Face. And how to smuggle the laptop to school. Or both.

16. I've come to realize that right now I am thinking about:
Some late-night movie.

17. I've come to realize that my life:
Sucks. xD

18. I've come to realize that my favourite drink is:
Chrysanthemum tea. No-lifer answer

19. I've come to realize that today I will:
Be bored. Zzz

20. I've come to realize that tonight I will:
Watch a late-night movie! XD

21. I've come to realize that tomorrow I will:

22. I've come to realize that I really want to:

23. I've come to realize that the person who is most likely to re-post this is:
Who cares!

24. I've come to realize relationships are:
FUN! to see happening

25. I've come to realize that love:
Is spelt L-O-V-E. Something I JUST learnt.

26. I've come to realize food is:
A necessity...I think

27: I've come to realize that this holiday:
Is not one.

28. I've come to realize heartbreak is:
An actual medical condition

29. I've come to realize that my sister(s):

30. I've come to realize that crying:
Is to be avoided

31. I've come to realize that death:
Is a good way to start one's day

32. I've come to realize that if I'm sick:
I can't use the computer NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

33. I've come to realize when I'
I do things like this!

Betting is BAD

You know, boo doesn’t work as well as it used to.
For once, whatever I am saying doesn’t make sense, to everybody including me. This is called…true crapping.
Bleh we were called to stay back after flag-raising. I thought they were going to scold us again.
Che just some stupid group on Google. All discussing stuff I am SO not interested in.
Cheong didn’t noe we were staying back (Wha never pay attention again right) and was like in the class the whole time.
LOL so we were STILL deciding where we were going to go for the chalet and…decided on somewhere in Changi.
Mr. Cheong: Hmm there was this one somewhere in Changi but I forgot its name…
Ji Hyun: Aloha!
Mr. Cheong: No it’s not Aloha but it’s really close to it what’s its name?*goes on to describe it
Ji Hyun: But that’s Aloha!
Mr. Cheong: Oh OK…
LOL how hax is this when we go we have to pay $330 for the chalet then when a teacher pays he gets a…80% discount???
Last time did Comprehension, now do summary. Did twice the work in less than the time. For laughs.
Finally could get to consult Ms. Lam for the brochure.
LOL turns out that was…totally useless cos she like said whatever I did was perfect what she was looking for.
I think I have to state something though.
Research conducted on the brochure on Journalism Club did by Lau Yu Han has revealed that on a truth scale of 0-100, it rates an astounding -204
Heh. I own. Now just need to think of an…explosive title.
On the other hand, I now need to somehow help Sooraj, Felix and WJ. EH BUT SOORAJ IS THE ENGLISH REP WTF.
I should somehow extract some benefit from this. XD. I’m evil right.
Boo I think my presentation failed. But I was doing it alone so…predictable.
LOL Jit got owned. Ji somehow presented in 3 min ++. So now he owes her $5 of gummy bears.
Jit: I give her a slap
LOL yea that works too. But then you’d still owe her $5 of gummy bears.
ZZT at least next lesson still got 3 groups to present. CAN DRAG. Just hope that Mr. Lim doesn’t stay at the back.
NOOO Chinese teacher came. I was like hoping she would be sick for an entire week.
Come still OK then say she was giving like a Test and Spelling next week. Consecutively. At least it’s just two lessons. Should be OK. I say should.
Math test was…OK lah. Almost lost 5 marks because (a) I was half asleep and (b) I almost trusted my calculator. But I trusted me more so I didn’t lose any careless marks.
I think.
Wen Jun is EPIC. Felix is EPIC-ER. And Evil. Pure evil.
How can ANY one manage to lose 4 million in ONE SITTING?!!!
Hmm. I must be jinxed. For 2/3 games I managed to screw up whoever I chose as my partner.
Then the last one both of us had ALL the royal trumps. Some of Felix’s leftover luck floated over. Though unfortunately it didn’t let me win big with WJ too. Ai ya just drop some cash to…dunno how that helps either. After Felix’s been through with him.
J.Lau: I’ll leave when Eric…no no no Felix leaves!
Felix: I’ll leave when J.Lau leaves.
Yay happy waiting. Stay here forever LOL.
Hmm. It was so weird I somehow lost the laptop power cable some time into the break. So I was pottering around looking for it and getting paranoid.
So sad it didn’t REALLY disappear. Then I can lay claim to the next greatest school magician since…er…dunno…
That Daryl REALLY has a habit of coming late. At least I converse with this wacky guy in Journalism and his fruity psychology.
OMG HE IS GOING TO KILL MR. VALLES. GASP. I mean, that’s too good for him.
LOL the Valles guy is trying to be funny. Tell us we have like one month to complete this newsletter then wait until the CCA session is almost over then give me the articles. AND WE HAVE 16 PAGES TO FINISH I’M TELLING YOU.
At least that…gives me time to do what I want. XD. For about 2 more weeks.

For laughs

I told u it's for laughs.

Friday, September 25, 2009

Papayas and bogeyman

Does the title make sense?
Thought not. I was crapping about crap by a crapper, as well as crapping about crap by myself.
I think I wasn't paying attention. Blackjack is fun. Unfortunately, I somehow managed to add in some random comments in addition to those already disrupting the...75% of a lesson which shouldn't even exist. I MEAN IF THE WEATHER IS NOT CONDUCIVE JUST FREAKING CANCEL THE LESSON LIKE LAST TIME.
Then J.Lau was being retarded and go ask a question to make the lesson longer. and during this time...*cryptic comments warning
I have turned half the tide, and I have confidence to stand the race to the last.
as usual, that last comment didn't make sense, just in case teachers pass by. But then I'd be pretty screwed anyway.
Comprehension. Nothing good to say about it so I won't. other than that I guess I failed epicly again.
*Cryptic comment alert(I guess this is going to become recurring)
I have stood the test, and the tides are turned. I see the light once again.
Did I tell you how much I hate uttering confusing mumbo-jumbo?
I guess all of us haveno light other than cards.
That sounded wrong.
but then, I AM wrong

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

blogging...in class

Woot decided to blog through the day and see if it works.
LOL Mr. Cheong walked in today...after about 10 hours of sleep. WTF. Right after he said he'd do my best in marking ALL of our math assignments.
So apparently he had a...lump in his neck...
Mitra: U hv CANCER!
Mr. Cheong: Eh who said that?!
Me: Yea that's the way Mit must curse more...
LOL now the guy wants us to...make his job easier. By doing it. WTF. So like we have to do all the write-up on ourselves.
Which I notice over half of the school is NOT doing.
Coolio. I'm STILL using the laptop through Math. The retard J.Lau on the other hand...is sleeping. Right beside me.
YAY English is suddenly a REALLY important thing in Math.
And now we enter the arguable issue of decimal points...almost.
That Mr. Cheong keep on going "dun-dun-dun-dun" like he's paying pinball. CAN HE BEAT 3 MILL points???
Guess not. He's not the type.
WTF. I totally did not catch ANYTHING he said. So he was like saying something that if we answered he would let us off.
Hmm. Interesting. i didn't understand that either.
WTF FELIX IS EVIL. Go suck SO MUCH money in SO little time. WTF.
ZZT relief teacher so freaking hardworking make us to the damn lab. : (
Anyway I was like doing the lab with J.lau, so first our light bulb broke down, then our power source was stuck, and then the OTHER power source we went to get was ALSO screwed.
So we were like fed up and redirected the laboratory power source machine on the table. Unfortunately, the Tang guy came along and said we couldn't, then hinted to us that we had to redo the experiment with the original power source.
Of course the moment he walked away we redirected it to the lab power source machine again. I mean like it measures the AMPERES for us. Why would I want to do it with the dumb power source provided.
With all the experience of Classroom cheating, me and J.Lau completed the lab with the provided source we weren't supposed to use. Heh.
Then the total genius of a Physics relief teacher obviously was VERY well-informed of our…lesson status, and proceeded to teach us whatever we just learned last week. Until ZE had the heart to remind him…nicely.
Say you want to be accurate right…At least don’t learn Mr. Cheong tricks can. I wanted to like puke.
Talking about Mr. Cheong, I think boss.cheong will come into full existence at the end of this year latest…
LOL like Ms. Mak didn’t come, so we were like w8ing for so damn long I decided to go upstairs for a toilet break. Everyone in Express Chinese was like so concentrated on the lesson. Dammit. Call them also never answer.
After I came back down…
Jit: LOL Bryan was like saying Candice looks more “Chio” with her new hairstyle right…
Me: Yea but you see now the hair is like let down in all directions so I can just rip her head off in any direction I like…
Candice: O.o So SADISTIC!
Me: Isn’t that like me?
Then WOW the relief teacher came in like SO LATE and told us to TRY AND DO some worksheet in…20 minutes?!
Obviously…about no one did it. Yea. I guess so.
OBAMAChess is Fun! But like so racist make Obama play black.
LOL the guy photocopied a…A-level textbook. And we’re in Year Two, supposed to learn all this ****.
We kind of spent the entire lesson copying notes from incomplete ones. I personally suspect this is one of his plots to keep us slower than all the other classes while somehow managing to keep us doing something.
After school
LOL I should have gone home before going back to school, just for the fun of it. Then I would have found out what crap luck I have. I mean, I almost died twice WTF.
Still, finally the cogs are in motion and I shall turn the tide.
No one understand?
That’s the way it will stay

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Countdown to last lesson with Cheongster: 2?

I still don’t under-freaking-stand why our damn newsletter has to be hashed out in a month. At least one or two deadlines have been cleared.
Actually, when I look again, I have cleared a grand total of…ZERO deadlines. Completed. OWNAGE RIGHT.
Of course, having a running deadline provided courtesy of Ji and Candice to post like once every day that I am in school
LOL somehow I lost lots of stuff this morning somehow.
And somehow I will turn it around.
Enough of my…personal stuff and we’ll, let’s move on to big BANGs!
We went to the lab for…half an hour, just to watch Ms. Chong do demos. ~emos~ Why couldn’t we ALL do them. So like maybe we could burn down the lab or something.
For some reason, we were more excited than…rabid rabbits on ecstasy. I can’t actually see why. I mean, what is there exciting about watching Sodium go POP REAL LOUD and ten burst into nice yellow flames?
Of course there’s nothing to get worked up about. ESPECIALLY after we experienced the disappointment of not seeing it twice.
Then when Mrs. Chong was like burning something coppery, me and Mitra were discussing hentai fiction how the…cotton fibers looked like REALLY thin baguettes.
But, see, I am so going to die at the amount or ore-ing we have to memorize. Not to mention extraction.
At least it gives me time to use the laptop. LIKE HOW ARE WE GOING TO SCREWING DO IT WITHOUT A DICTIONARY.
Of course, that just gives everyone the excuse to crowd around my table and copy.
I wonder…why gold falls under gold in Wikipedia?
Hoy Cow Microsoft office recognizes Wikipedia.
Yes I turned some things around…
Anyway, Sooraj was trying to watch some stuff I’d prefer not to watch. And since he did the thing not preferable, I did what he wouldn’t prefer done to him either. Or anyone else, for that matter. Unfortunately my armlock REALLY works MUCH more effectively with people around KM’s size.
MTFKing Jit Wu go call Mr. Cheong, TRYING to screw the girls up but NO WTF he didn’t go to see that they were like lingering around the hall and staircase so like they could see Cheong from miles away and go back to class. Why couldn’t we just follow the plan of abandoning class for quite some time. WTF.
So consequently Jit somehow got owned by Mr. Cheong for calling him???
Then around some time later he was banished to the back of the class for some odd reason. WTF?
Mr. Cheong: Come and seek redemption Jit and do this example…
Me: 1, he is not Christian and 2, he has not sinned! Why must he seek redemption???
J.Lau: You are not a priest and you are not his father, so like you have no right to make him seek redemption!!!
LMAO why are we bringing religion into Math???
OK, see you know what I am so pissed off by Mr. Cheong even coming for this lesson at all I am incoherent to thoughts beginning have.
So I am going to fire off random sections of our lesson.
Me: Mr. Cheong.... actually none of us ARE INTERESTED!
Mr. Cheong *in a daze, flips through his notes, then…: Huh? What were you saying?
Me: Yea, thanks for being SO interested…
Then the guy go dao me. Thanks.
Some time…during the lesson
Mr. Cheong: If u people see ur grades drop, don’t be concerned…cos somehow this year u people attention levels have dropped…
Me: U know, since that is like happening this year, this is saying something…
The fella go dao me again.
Still. I was planning to eat with the guys at Subway, but realized that—I don’t eat lunch and would REALLY be happier playing cards. So well. Dunno why the girls hv to go all the way to Subway.
Today why Ms. Lee must be early. : (
LOLOL Jit was like looking at all the wrong directions when ji came. First thing he noticedher exposed bra straps
Actually track is OK. It’s fun to hold Eric back with 2 fingers. For a minute. I own. LOL jit and Eric were supposed to hold KGB and Mitra back. Then Eric was like doing nothing and Jit was like WTF ERIC DO STH. Owned.
WTF how can anyone be allergic to field grass.
Hmph I’m allergic to the dumb stretchy Velcro contraption. 3 freaking hours of burning fingers WITHOUT VISIBLE EFFECTS.
I need to quote Mr. Sir. For laughs.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Captivating Concertoes

So like yesterday when I was using the computer I felt like JUST playing games so I didn’t blog.
Oh I just went to start playing games again. Must be addictive to do 7 deadly Sins in a fortnight XD.
Add that to the fact that I can’t bother to remember whatever happened on Friday. Mix in Candice being annoying. Stir.
So I’m posting today.
Mr. Cheong: So? Blogged any more about me?
You have NO idea, mister…
Anyway, the gist of today’s topic of discussion is…our class chalet. Remind me to go check my mailbox for updates, after I clear all 300 of the useless ones I don’t need. Of course, the fact that there are only two updates at the time of posting, as well as the fact that which there are currently two, and I replied to one of them, to which I am waiting for an answer while bouncing on my feet expectantly, until I realized I also sent it to Mr. Cheong doesn’t mean I have read either one.
Does that make sense?
Guessed not. Hopefully this outing will end in…success.
PS maybe not apparently all the cheap ones are…FULLY BOOKED. Unless we go camping.
WOOT I missed the consultation again.
LOL the vocabulary question which no one knew yesterday was just THERE in the Microsoft Word Thesaurus It was so darn simple I was amazed.
At myself.
I don’t feel like talking about this. Except that I see only one road out of it. I think it’s called Tuesday break.
I realized that holy crap I gotta finish this in 6 minutes, together with my game, If I am to watch Van Helsing. So all I gotta say is that I admire Mr. Lim for going through time and effort to make some slides explaining his sickness.
So from the things he gave us, I realized…Mr. Lee is HOT.
Failed to go to the Express Chinese class because like their teacher was back. NOOOOOOOOOO
Just by way of mentioning, I felt flexible with my blogging time, and due to my failure to complete my post before Van Helsing, this is pushed all the way…to Sunday.
Sorry if these random sentences are distracting. Of course, I meant them to BE distracting so people don’t notice how short this blogpost is.
O.o Everyone was eating apples and pears, then going out ONE BY ONE to throw them (personally I think everyone was just trying to piss Mr. Cheong after he mentioned that we shouldn’t throw our fruits IN the class)
Then there was this funny few minutes that Jit was trying to get permission to throw his apple, then Mr. Cheong was TOTALLY dao-ing him, then Jit was REALLY pissed and waving his hand and select fingers at Mr. Cheong, who was STILL dao-ing him. So Jit just went out of the class. And then ZE went the same way. Funny how obedient we all are.
About some time later…(quote alert—source: Bryan’s blog)
LOL so today was really dumb. While Mr. Cheong was going thru maths lesson, Daryl was being a fag and fondling with my ball and my 50g. Then I kind of like shouted at him and that’s why Mr. Cheong sent Jit out of the class. He said he kept hearing Jit's voice while he was talking...
Owned big-time.
O.o I realised that this post is actually exceeding one page. Which files it as rather long on my…wherever.
I can’t understand how we keep pwning Edith at Asshole Daidi. Maybe it’s because of the common triple 2s I keep dealing to everyone except her. (I DO deal it to her—she has to give them away XD)
Anyway, while playing asshole, Adrian and ZE were being evil and advancing REAL fast up ranks. And Ji and Clarice were like slapping and hitting each other. Here’s where I step in…
Me: let me break up the fight…
Ji: Ah! (Tries to escape then realises she is stuck fast between the sofa hand rest and Clarice. Owned)
LOL Wen Jun is helpless at playing DM online.
ZZT 1 month to complete our newsletter. This is going to be so much fun.
SO I met Dominic in the lab, and then Mr. Valles came in, and then while he was talking to some other member, Dominic was being like SO very ENTHU and saying HI! And I was like WOW u noe him but actually it was just Dom being OOPS OVER-ENTHU SYNDROME. So Mr. Valles was like staring at him like LOL?
Never knew you could have such a long retarded name for Facebook when you have such a shorter one.
And that Facebook can be THAT useful.
So now that means I have…5 deadlines. WOOT

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Realised this has like no title after 2 days of posting it

LOL fortunately this is short. Cos I got like lots of shit to do later on.
Due to the fact that two girls are openly using their…laptops when sitting RIGHT at the front row, that must probably mean I can too. Especially since I got an ongoing World War to fight.
ANYWAY, I realized that Jit has great ideas. Such as looking for all the answers for the notes on Google. Including the full screen button to hide my four tabs on school-rule breaking sites.
Since I already completed the entire set of notes, what I DID do for the lesson was fight my war…
WOOT Ms. Lam doing brouchure discussion today (which I haven’t touched—XD) so that means I can continue to play. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
One HA to many I think. But who cares
Budden now have to complete the brouchure draft by tmrw. Drat.
Computer, cards, computer, cards, and cards of computer…innovative huh?

Smiley had better work...

I need to jump right in to today’s post because I can’t wait.
Makes sense right? ~DUH~

Seriously. Even though I don’t have much to talk about in terms of mentoring and ages together.
First! Mr. Cheong decided upon some retarded activity to occupy our time. Looking at the way we carried out, you could definitely tell we were WAY enthusiastic about it. Especially with about 6 girls sitting at the front reading and 6~7 guys at the back enjoying MJ without moving. (LOL Mr. Cheong was using my laptop. He paid for it real bad later on)
For some reason this…activity was…actually deserving of a life lesson. So Mr. Cheong was asking random people how they felt when they were…left out of the group.
Mr. Cheong: So, Yu Han, how did you feel?
Let’s hear it for…ME!
And the class applauds obligingly.
Mr. Cheong: (After going through a 10-second nervous breakdown) Ok well the purpose of this activity is to teach us to be kind to others and not leave them out. I think none of you would feel good if that happened to you…
Forgot who: *Points at me
Mr. Cheong: OK, but Yu Han is an exception…
Yea man, I own.
Sometime later after discussing the benefits of hobbies and attempting to…put a stop to certain people ENGAGING in their hobbies, he attempted to share his holiday…exploits
Mr. Cheong: Do anyone of you want to hear about what I did in my holidays?
Ruth and Felix like shake their heads…
Mr. Cheong: Thank you Daryl, for smiling at me when I was asking Ruth. (Daryl has that WTF look on his face commonly found on our classmates’ faces when this happens to them) Because I of you, I will share what I did during the holidays. During the one week break i was busy with my baby…
Whole class: O.O
Jit: Huh how u have baby so fast? U mean u did it BEFORE you married???
Whole class: *Imagine 24 various laughing positions
J.Lau: Pre-marital sex is BAD, Mr. Cheong…
So like Jit and Mr. Cheong continued to have a minute-long discussion about his private life, which had me almost falling off my chair in laughter.
So! Mentoring almost over. I REALLY couldn’t let Mr. Cheong just go after making us do that retarded activity, so I heeded my classmates’ wise advise and went to Ruth’s blog.
Mr. Cheong: eh? Wut u doing?
Me: Dun dun dun dun…*highlights Ruth’s anger management post
Mr. Cheong (after another ten-second breakdown): OK, Ruth, come and see me in my office. This will go under…abuse of technology…
Candice comes along and we trawl through Clarice’s blog for “cheong”s
Mr. Cheong: *stares at “cheong”s I think I need to see you too, Clarice…
Just quoting Kesh for fun…
oh and you know why clarice never put 'mr' in front of cheong?
coz apparently mr stands for mentally retarded
On a scale of boring from 1 to 100 this lesson could be…-104
OK la, not that bad. Mr. Cheong doesn’t have that ability. But he was seriously pissing me off. Mr. Cheong: "OHOH NOW I REALLYREALLY UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU MEAN.*insert weird random stuff REALLYREALLY far away from what we mean.” WOW.
So basically I tried to surreptitiously use my laptop to FB while Mr. Cheong tried to…make us do revision.
AND THEN I finished 75% per cent of the new chapter while he crapped.
LOL apparently Candice was emo-ing according to Mr. Cheong...
Mr. Cheong: eh Candice why you emo-ing?
Candice: (The trademark HUH? look)
KM: Can't be Jit...so must be you Mr. Cheong...
Mr. Cheong: I'd rather sacrifice Jit than me...so Jit, please change your seat...
Who cares.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Raindrops falling on my head

You know that title up there?
That was the thing I was wishing for the better part of about 18 hours. Which didn’t happen.
Curse the rain gods. Especially after playing god’s playing field.
More on today then.
Let me jump in relief for a while.
Wow bingo is an anagram of boing.
Who cares. I somehow salvaged half the marks from a question I was supposed to get 0 for. XD.
IRON MAN OWNS. Other than the fact that he can get owned by one missile, easily sets himself on fire, uses energy sufficient to power a magnetic field for 500 years in about 5 hours, he’s…indestructible!
UN-fortunately, he’s not made of iron. What luck. Or a flying spittle could own him as well.
So like Ms. Chong was introducing metals to us through a clip on Iron Man, so everyone was like looking out for the properties of metal such as flying, preferring to fight each other rather than cooperate kindly, spitting of flames, bullet-proof-ness as well as combustibility. KM somehow managed to keep the flying property a recurring gag through the rest of the hour.
Other than THAT, lesson as usual.
EXCEPT the fact that FEDERER GOT OWNED. By Juan Martin del Potro. WOOT. So like Ji was suanning Nikki for the rest of the lesson. Swiss pwned by Argentinian.
Yea so we were going through the comprehension…which I remembered doing rubbishly a long time ago. Somehow I got half the questions right LOL.
“How does USA boycotting the Moscow Games serve as protest against the Afghan War?”
“Moscow is part of the Soviet Union”
How does the model answer even answer the question man.
Anyway, gives me more time to use my laptop. Perhaps next week I shall go and play cards or go KFC with the guys. Because I finally beat Autobot Stronghold.
Of course, downloading all of MJ’s and Justin Timberlake’s songs take priority. XD. I love Love Sex Magic.
I swear, there’s a secret plot in the school PE department to kill us through this particular lesson. 3 p.m. Sure doesn’t do nuts to the sun. If anything, it’s HOTTER
So we were burning under the damn sun and doing track. And I somehow beat ZE running 2 rounds LOL.
Of course, subsequently I lost the feeling in my legs from knees down. I’m quite sure that’s what happened to Sooraj and that !@#$%^&* got a break for the lesson for that WTF?
Well. Who cares. At least I improved my guillotine ladder. Or whatever that is.
Basically, they preferred to answer ALL the hard rapid fire questions and get owned

Monday, September 14, 2009

Back from the holidays

So! For those who…are apparently addicted to my blog…
Be prepared to bear with a month and a half of cold turkey by November. You’ve survived a week haven’t you?
Anyway. Enough crapping.
Just felt like mentioning something totally unrelated.
Dad: I know I bought a light laptop so that it is portable, but maybe you shouldn’t constantly bring it to school. It might be damaged…
Me: Yea, that makes a lot of sense…
Never mind. I’m still bringing my laptop tomorrow. Unless God intervenes and Ms. Lee somehow changes PE time back to 12.30 p.m. Which, trust me, is NOT going to happen, ESPECIALLY after whatever she said after receiving the Ms. Sporty or sth similar award
Ms Camellia Lee: Those classes under me will do more running after this. DARN.
I kinda realized I haven’t actually touched on mentoring. Anyway, the first thing we remembered when we entered the class was Mr. Cheong’s promise to change our seats. Being the…helpful student population, we decided to cut through the red tape and do it for him.
Of course, his coming into the class means a lot of crap being discussed, mainly around Mr. Cheong dissing us on the new seating arrangement…and lots of other random stuff.
Mr. Cheong: You know when I arrange seats, the first thing I look out for is whether Yu Han and Jit are together…because they talk a lot.
Jit and me: WTF?
Yea WTF ur prob man Mr. Cheong. But really who cares.
So Nikki was like being proud of the fact that she went to Sentosa…because it’s as overseas as anyone actually got during the holidays.
Nikki: Go read my blog! O posted lots of pictures…especially this and this!
Nikki * In a surprised tone: You read and saw?

This…basically did not exist, because Mr. Cheong caught the after effects of the holiday flu…and cancelled the lesson WOOT.
Mr. Cheong you know I miss you so much that I’m going to attempt to haunt you for another 2 years at the very lest. XDXDXD.
At the same time, Jit and Daryl and KM were hauling Bryan around the classroom on with both his hands and legs off the ground (Bryan’s that is. Poor thing) when they realized that someone, namely J.Lau was taking a vid.
Daryl and KM: That guy’s phone is dead man!
Jit: Yea J.Lau kiss your phone good bye!
So sad I couldn’t watch J.Lau get pwned too.
AND I BEAT BOTH BROWSER KAROSHI GAMES WOOT. How can you be so lucky Adrian LOL beat the brute force levels so easily.
Apparently Ms. Li got down from a flight from dunno where and was feeling REAL sleepy…so we wre pushing for another cancel of lesson so we get to extend out break for… ANOTHER TWO HOURS but NO she felt she was up to it. Damn.
So we were like talking about electricity, and I like looked at the notes and realized WTF WE MOVING SO FAST. Who gives a damn. If I can’t cope…I will force myself to cope. ZZT/
And now…observe my imbah-ness
Somehow for the quiz I missed like an entire page and about…9 marks so WOOT I got 66% for that dumb quiz somehow because I almost answered every single question on the first page correctly. AND I GOT THE SAME MARKS AS JIT I’m SO PROUD. Heh.
At least I did well for my assignement…although I harbour not much hope of reversing whatever **** score I got for semester one for Physics.
Got to write a letter today NOOOOOOO
Actually, not that bad because the guys form 206 were like having a discussion on how unrealistic the situation given was and the validity of taking a taxi from NUS High School to NUH with Yang Yi wondering out loud if he could call three-wheeled rickshaws the way they do in China. And Galen was there trying to be funny thinking up all the situation where the taxi driver…uh kinda helped him but did something stupid or rude in return. So he was like constantly asking Ms. Mak Hey is that like considered helpful cos he helped you? Cool right. At least I finished writing my crap.
You know what? I still can’t figure out WHY Kesh and Shankari are SO OBSESSED with the idea of fishing.
Hmm. Weird. The dictionary recognizes Shankar, but not Shankari. LOL.
The lesson today was like about BURMA, where KM came from…
Mr. Lim: Well, majority of the students don’t understand muchabout Burma…
Nikki: KM’s FROM Burma…
Mr. Lim: Well, than I guess it would be a good idea for him to help me teach you guys…
ZZT Mr. Lim, as it turns out, has a sore throat AS WELL. Why can’t they just cancel the lesson like good teachers do?
BASICALLY, after that, I was still bored. So there.
Was. Really. Dumb.
Me, Daryl J.Lau and KM were trying to think of the most incorrect answers to every single question. Somehow some of those were right so lol. But like the Faraday got the hardest questions for being the house with the most points but Fibo can’t answer all the easy questions they got…
At least the Nobel team this year better than the one last year where they went BBBBBBBBBB…

Saturday, September 5, 2009

The Ups and Downs of life

Today…what to say? First half was hell and second was…heaven! XD
Screwed-up Sports Day was so dumb. As all sports days are.
Firstly…Bryan the Faraday guy was wearing a Nobel shirt! OMFG LOL.
Nextly(is that even a word?)…I forgot to bring my gaming calculating device dammit. So like I can’t have fun using the calculator under the eyes of teachers chasing us back to the grandstand.
Well then. Back to the day. The first thing we did was to…try and sneak back to the class. After Dr. Hang’s…delusional speech and ceremony trying to make our…Sports Day seem like the Olympics. Unfortunately…the estate guy was making his rounds and…caught us when Jit Wu happily waved at him. WTnoob. Of course, J.Lau had to be dumb and hide in the…cupboard. And consequently got owned by the estate guy. Fortunately…it isn’t Mr. Helpful.
Yea so we reluctantly made our way to the grandstand…and Candice was like trying to make me run for the 400m or something. Unfortunately for her…I tossed a coin about 2 weeks ago and it told me not to run. So I didn’t. Even the other House Level Head couldn’t do nuts. Too bad. They can get another random replacement. So I was trying to make Bryan the sub. Who tell him go wear Nobel. Fortunately they…didn’t come around to paint our faces. Meaning fortunately for anyone who would be attempting to do the painting because he/she would be pwned worse than Candice and the HLH was.
Daryl, on the other hand…was not so lucky. He was pwned by Ji. XD. WTnoob. And then…he got last.
Budden Adrian was running and got third so I don’t see how Daryl can’t get last.
The best news is…the Internet was screwed again. WTF?
So the teachers, of course, were heroically attempting to chase students back to the grandstand and the sky…was heroically raining sporadically. Although it would have been better had it rained for the whole day…better something than nothing. At least the teachers couldn’t bother to make us go back to the grandstand after 3 times of doing the same thing.
Then, the prize-giving had to take…1 hour. And more. How dumb is that.
Anyway, finally endured hell and went to Purgatory. (Like my biblical analogy? I’m not Christian XD) And we had…to decide where to go for some time. But, being guys, we made it up as we go along. (screwed-up J.Lau was crapping about lots of sick stuff to a fellow year one in a public vehicle in his freaking uniform WTF?!) Jit and gang went to a LAN shop, after we had thrilling jaywalks across 3 busy roads, while me and Daryl did…nothing at McDonalds. Why didn’t I bring my vouchers dammit.
And the internet…better not say a thing before the IDA comes and screws me up.
We ended up a little late. It was comforting to have a watch and remind us all of how late we were going to be.
Me: Walk or take bus?
Jit: Walk. I need to work up an appetite.
Still. We had a few more thrilloing jaywalks, especially the part where Daryl wanted to beat the green man and we all cheong-ed chionged through the crossing. And…half my shoe fell off. Wow. And after all that…turns out that the Cheong-ster was coming at 4. WTF make us go rush all the way there.
Jit: WTF Mr. Cheong going to come so late never tell us.
Me: But that lets you work up a greater appetite!
Jit: WTF I haven’t eaten anything since dinner last night which is like…20 hours?!!
Me: O.o. You are a noob.
Somehow Mr. Cheong booked an entire row all to our class. And people didn’t eat lunch and for some reason were ordering lunch right there at the OMG sure to be screwing ex Swenson’s.
So I was there drinking the ice-water INSTEAD of ordering lunch, because unlike everyone else I usually don’t eat lunch. Mitra decided to take this time to do his Math homework, and I was walking around, discussing the availability of mushrooms, fish AND chickens with Adrian so maybe we won’t be having that for lunch and…Mr. Cheong came and…saw Mit doing his Math homework which really was due on Monday. Let’s hear it for Mitra.
*Spontaneous applause from class
A little later I was on my…third glass of plain iced water and Mr. Chong was like looking at me and saying hey guess what the drinks are on me. So I was like OK! I’d like about a hundred more barrels of Swenson’s iced water because as you know I REALLY spend too much on water bills and Mitra was like YEA! Da-bao-ing water is a great idea!
Later the first…dish/lunch came, namely Daryl and Bryan’s super-tiny cheeseburgers with US flags on top and Mr. Cheong was o.o at the size. AND THEN Felix’s lunch came and it was a burger around twice the size of both Bry’s and Daryl’s burgers added together and HE was having it alone. So now Mr. Cheong was like O.O at…Felix.
Then at the other table YX and Ji were like I dunno, trying to see how much water they can spill without actually overturning the table while Eric was like trying to argue with the menu or something with him deciding what to have and the menu cursing him for taking such a long time and Eric mentally cursing back the menu for giving him such a hard choice and the menu like probably trying to get him to JUST FREAKING MAKE UP HIS MIND.
Anyway the ice-creams came and because I didn’t even know what we ordered except that it was something earthquake-y. (wonder why Mr. Cheong was thinking of human Uno with Eric as the wild card LOL) so, I tucked in when the people who ordered did. Namely Kesh and Shankari. Not that I’m pointing fingers, but it turns out that THIS earthquake was meant for, uh, YX and Ji and ZE. So KM was like OK we just eat this and eat the other one that comes along cos the other one’s ours too. Obviously, I realized people in our class aren’t actually that dumb and that they were probably going to screw us up by ordering another, whether just for the fun of it or whatever I can’t care. So I kinda distanced myself from the next ice-cream. Just to avoid paying for it.
I’ve eaten more than enough lunch for today anyway.
So like because so many ppl were like having sundaes, when Felix had one too (he could still find space after that burger?) Mr. Cheong was like asking the girls: Who wants a sundae with Felix? One more will make the student deal complete.
Well, Mr. Cheong you might have realized that sundae and Sunday pose, like, the same problem with knight and night to any stenographer. This could be…you know…scandalous…
In the end, when we saw the bill...most of the guys had like left and OMG I realized that Adrian’s baked rice somehow came up to…$0.00 so I was like 0.0 at that and wanted to suddenly order baked rice for the fun of it.
Anyway, Mr. Cheong noticed for the first time that Candice was…wearing slippers. (Admittedly, so did I)
Mr. Cheong: Looks so… Ah Lian…
It’s like one of topics that he…finds it hard to let go. Over the next about half an hour.
And Daryl was like, “Hey can I pay my share in McDonalds’…” and “ Oh I guess I lack cutlery…” and was trying to take the spoons, forks, dessert spoons etc…
Later Mr. Cheong said he already had put aside some money to pay fo rth surplus…but decided not to tell once we started to make it up. LOL Mr. Cheong actually has some smarts. XD.
So after like Daryl & KM left Mr. Cheong decided to go…window shopping. LMAO. So Ji and Clarice started by playing some…steeping game under the projector thing and Mr. Cheong was like look at the poor little child she is like wondering who these two ppl are…she looks like she’s going to cry. And then later Candice was saying to Mr. Cheong I know what you are thinking…”So childish!” LOL
Apparently, Ji Hyun was OUT to embarrass us in full view of every one who happened to see us walking with them in IMM…and proceeded to ride kiddy rides. Nikki was like trying to sit down and she was saying OMG I can’t fit…so the end result was her squeezed between Big bird and … the edge of the seat, Ji on the bonnet of the car, and Clarice attempting to climb up the back. And the rest of us…went to a relatively…safe distance.
So Eric was telling us about his job at the Science Centre, (He got 38/9.5 CIP hours WTH) how it was repetitive (I was telling him he could add some variety to his advise to early, eager customers, such as F*** OFF! Instead of I’m sorry we don’t open the observatory till 7.30p.m.), and annoying customers. Apparently the Science Centre staff are really hot about holding hands…I’ll spare you the details. Can’t imagine Eric doing it…
At about 5.30 I decided…it was time to go home, and Mitra came along.(Actually, I couldn’t stand the embarrassment but since Ji Hyun is going to read this…I have bolded everything just so she will see.)
Mitra: I dunno whether to go return the books I have borrowed or screw up my mum.
Me: You know the Jurong Regional Library is just a stone’s throw away from the MRT station. Since that’s the case, all you have to do is to stand at the top of the MRT, and throw your books into any available window.
Mitra: *Pauses “You are giving me evil ideas…and the worst thing is…I’m actually considering them!”
On the MRT, I called YX just for fun. And, just for fun, my hand phone chose that moment to run out of battery. What a nice way to end the day.

No offence at all to Jit...

You know it’s time for a diet when:
You dive into a swimming pool so your friends can go surfing.

You have to apply your makeup with a paint roller.

Weight Watchers demands your resignation.

You step on a pennyweight scale that gives you your fortune and it says, "One at a time please!"

The bus driver asks you to sit on the other side because he wants to make a turn without flipping over.

You’re at school in the classroom and turn around and erase the entire blackboard

They throw puffed rice at your wedding.

You fall down and try to get up, and in the process rock yourself to sleep.

You lay on the beach and Greenpeace comes along to push you back in the water

Friday, September 4, 2009

Better late than never

Well, the first thing I noticed was that somehow, everyone else can connect to the internet except me. Dammit. Maybe I’ve been bringing my laptop too regularly, and it so happens that the only use for it is to either play games or to download music…so they banned my IP just for fun.
Next thing was that Ji and Nikki both brought…plush toys?!!! The panda in a tiger-suit REALLY has some identity issues.
So like, today we were FINALLY doing something productive with mentoring…and we discussed the Swenson’s outing. Nice to see the class united…or maybe we had the united ambition of dragging Mr. Cheong there…
Of course, the…class was even more united in roaring for a…change of seats.
Ok he did. Great.
Essay test. Just crapped. I bet everyone did. So freaking little to write about.
At least I wrote more than 1 page! With about 20 mins to spare lol. ZZT not like Clarice WTF only write…3/4 of a page?!!!
So like because of my lack of network…me and Daryl were using each other’s laptops. It was like so weird. Unfortunately my laptop is apparently too pathetic to support his Prison Break vids…
Mr Lim walks in and says…
“You people are just too fast. I think if I don’t slow down I won’t know what to do with you by Term 4 Week 4.”
Then cancel the freaking lesson dammit. Your lesson are real boring most of the time anyway.
Basically we were doing some dumb mindmap. How does that actually slow us down…?
NOO why never add bonus question screw it. I said I would have gotten full marks with them and I would but NO Ms. Mak was being retarded and didn’t add them. WTF.
Then the exercise that we had to do was…so dumb. Like everyone didn’t noe one of the words, then dammit Ms. Mak dint want to tell us all the way until we give each other marks. Considering that everyone copied each other, I’m really intrigued as to how the marks turned out…
The first thing Mr. Cheong said when he walked in was just so uber-genius.
Mr. Cheong: “Do your want to cancel this class? I don’t really want to have it because you guys are going to fast.”
So like, everyone was showing violent approval, Nikki went out of the class for about a minute before coming back, Ji was attempting to end the class by force…and that pretty much set the mood for the rest of the lesson.
Nikki was being...dunno...Dementorish sleeping wearing hewr jacket upside down. ( I had the impression that Dementors, other than that black cloak, woud have this rattling-ish breath, as well as...bony rotting hands...
Of course, J.Lau couldn't stop himself and went to whack Nikki with his math notes. So Nikki, being Nikki, went to whack him back. J.Lau, being a, um, J.Lau, whacked her again, and Nikki whacked back harder and J.Lau whacked back once more...
It was just Math notes. so no hospitalization involved.
By now I guess I shan’t hide anything. The RPG game recently installed on our calculators has really been a hit…but it was so simple that everyone playing it stopped REALLY playing and started programming. Hopefully by the end of this year we can like combine all our improved versions and make a…REALLY ownage game. XD. What will the teachers say?
Anyway, Ji and Candice went to…Ze or Jit’s table halfway and were standing/squatting around there. Then sometime later Jit somehow stole the panda (without the tiger suit), and was propping it on his head and Ji was trying to snatch it…so that meant about half the class was totally ignoring Mr. Cheong and like WOW Ruth was actually choking with laughter (well, not exactly choking but…you get the idea)
OMG Mr. Cheong please be reading my blog.
Ruth: “Mr cheong was totally getting daoed xD and he thinks I'm expressionless during his lessons, but I'm just practising anger management :)))”
O.o better be watching out man.
CCA spent on learning has totally nothing good to say about it. Maybe just the one or two things.
Me: *asking some random Media Club member “What is on page 5 of the booklet?”
Him: “I got totally no idea…”
Me: *being REALLY sarcastic “Hmm, thanks. You’ve been LOTS of help!”
And Daryl was like unable to forget that for the rest of the 2 hours…
Oh and I got like $5 worth of McDonald’s vouchers just for doing the dumb booklet. Even though it was crap. XD

Thursday, September 3, 2009

I...must be joking

Time to outdo Ji in jokes. XD
Psychologist owned at her own game
A very shy guy goes into a nightclub and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage, he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?"
She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I won’t sleep with you tonight!" Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the guy is completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table.
After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, "I’m sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I’m a graduate student in psychology and I’m studying how people respond to embarrassing situations."
To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, "Two-hundred dollars??? What do you mean $200?!!
The crazy things we do…
A young man with a wild and multi-coloured hairstyle sits next to an old man on a park bench. The old man stares at the young man.
"What's the matter, old man?" says the young man. "Never done anything crazy in your life?"
The old man replies: "Yeah. When I was in the Navy, I got really drunk one night and had sex with a parrot. I thought you might be my son."
Blond joke…LMAO
Blonde Secretary’s Memo to her Boss
TO: Boss
FROM: Blondie
RE: Changing Calendars from Y2K
I hope that I haven’t misunderstood your instructions because, to be honest, none of this Y to K problem made much sense to me. At any rate, I have finished the conversion of all of the months on all of the company calendars for next year. The calendars have returned from the printer and are ready to be distributed with the following new months:
I also changed all the days of each week to:
We are now Y to K compliant. Have a nice dak!!!
Them funny lawmen
Court Cases ...
Judge: I know you, don’t I?
Defendant: Uh, yes.
Judge: All right, tell me, how do I know you?
Defendant: Judge, do I have to tell you?
Judge: Of course, you might be obstructing justice not to tell me.
Defendant: Okay. I was your bookie.
From a defendant representing himself...
Defendant: Did you get a good look at me when I stole your purse?
Victim: Yes, I saw you clearly. You are the one who stole my purse.
Defendant: I should have shot you while I had the chance.
Judge: The charge here is theft of frozen chickens.
Are you the defendant?
Defendant: No, sir, I’m the guy who stole the chickens.
Lawyer: How do you feel about defence attorneys?
Juror: I think they should all be drowned at birth.
Lawyer: Well, then, you are obviously biased for the prosecution.
Juror: That’s not true. I think prosecutors should be drowned at birth too.
Judge: Is there any reason you could not serve as a juror in this case?
Juror: I don’t want to be away from my job that long.
Judge: Can’t they do without you at work?
Juror: Yes, but I don’t want them to know it.
Defendant: Judge, I want you to appoint me another lawyer.
Judge: And why is that?
Defendant: Because the Public Defender isn’t interested in my case.
Judge (to Public Defender): Do you have a comment on the defendant’s motion?
Public Defender: I’m sorry, Your Honour. I wasn’t listening.
Judge: You are charged with habitual drunkenness. Have you anything to say in your defence?
Defendant: Habitual thirstiness?
Money, money, money…
A man went into a lawyer's office, and demanded to see the lawyer. He was escorted into the lawyer's office.
The man needed legal help, but he knew how expensive lawyers could be, so he inquired, "Can you tell me how much you charge?"
"Of course", the lawyer replied, "I charge $500 to answer three questions."
"Don't you think that's an awful lot of money to answer three questions?"
"Yes it is", answered the lawyer, "What's your third question?"
Next time, the woman should get behind the wheel.
Wait. There isn’t a next time.

A married couple is driving down the interstate doing 55 mph. The husband is behind the wheel. His wife looks over at him and says, "Honey, I know we’ve been married for 15 years, but I want a divorce."
The husband says nothing but slowly increases the speed to 60 mph.
She then says, "I don’t want you to try to talk me out of it because I’ve been having an affair with your best friend, and he’s a better lover than you."
Again the husband stays quiet and just speeds up as his anger increases.
She says, "I want the house." Again the husband speeds up and he is now doing 70 mph.
She says, "I want the kids too." The husband just keeps driving faster and faster until he reaches 80 mph.
She says, "I want the car, the checking account and all the credit cards too." The husband slowly starts to veer toward a bridge overpass pillar, as she says, "Is there anything you want?"
The husband says, "No, I’ve got everything I need."
She asks, "What’s that?"
The husband replies just before they hit the wall at 90 mph, "I’ve got the airbag!"
smarty Yankee
Tribal Punishment
Three men are traveling in the Amazon: a Canadian, an American, and a Mexican.
They get captured by a fierce tribe of Amazons.
The tribe leader tells them they will be whipped for entering their territory. The tribe chief says to the Candian, "What do you want on your back for your whipping?"
The Canadian responds, "I will take oil!"
So they put oil on his back, and a large Amazon whips him 10 times.
When he is finished the Canadian has these huge welts on his back, and he can hardly move.
The Amazons haul the Canadian away, and say to the Mexican,
"What do you want on your back?"
"I will take nothing!, I will take my punishment like a real man!" says the Mexican, and he boldly stands there and takes his 10 lashings without a single flinch.
Finally, it’s the Yank’s turn and the tribal chief asks:
"What will you take on your back?"
And he responds - "I’ll take the Mexican!"
For the final joke…OMFG this is actually accurate!
Son: "Daddy, I have to write a special report for school, but I don't know what Politics is."
Father: "Well, let's take our home as an example. I am the bread-winner, so let's call me Capitalism. Your Mum is the administrator of money, so we'll call her Government. We take care of your need, so let's call you The People. We'll call the maid the Working Class and your brother we can call The Future. Do you understand son?"
Son: "I'm not really sure, Dad. I'll have to think about it."
That night awakened by his brother's crying, the boy went to see what was wrong. Discovering that the baby had seriously soiled his diaper, the boy went to his parents' room and found his mother sound asleep. He went to the maid's room, where, peeking through the keyhole, he saw his father in bed with the maid. The boy's knocking went totally unheeded by his father and the maid, so the boy returned to his room and went back to sleep.
The next morning he reported to his father.
Son: "Dad, now I think I understand what Politics is."
Father: "Good son! Can you explain it to me in your own words?"
Son: "Well Dad, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, Government is sound asleep, the People are being completely ignored and the Future is full of Shit."

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

RPGs...are Rocket Propelled Grenades

You noe, I’ve been reading Maximum ride for almost half a decade now, and I just noticed that she is just so hot. The moment I started reading Max. Or more appropriately, saw its cover.
Jit reckoned that it was morally right to appease his woman andbought a large, cute fat pig for Ji.
Hopefully those adjectives were arranged correctly. But really, who cares. Jit bought another pig. And it’s cute.
OK so after like watching the girls play with it for…quite a long time…it looked like…a shared piggy. But never mind. That’s between the girls and Jit.
Anyway. Today was a life-changing day for many of us. Basically I’m trying to keep it really top secret. So let’s just say we will be working more diligently on our GCs from now on. I promise. Whatever the lesson is.
I can’t remember what Mr. Cheong was doing to my laptop. Probably something about positive-thinking. I’m going to bring this up…with a LITTLE perspective in my next post. I think.

Thanks to our…spanking brand-new device, this lesson passed in…pure bliss. No need to listen to whatever Mr. Cheong was talking about. I’ve never seen J.Lau so hardworking. Seriously.
For about 5 minutes it was just me and Mr. Cheong in the classroom and as he passed by me listening to Just Dance on my laptop using Bryan’s taken without permission borrowed earphones he gave me that funny look that said Yu Han don’t you like eat at all??? So I just smiled at him and waved. XD
Then for some reason after that in between programming stuff and MH-ing I was playing the music video of Lady Gaga’s Poker Face…and everyone was like, fascinated. Maybe I SHOULD download the music video of Papparazzi…
Dunno what is the problem of Linkin Park put so many special effects in the ir music video making its size like 10MB WTF.
Unfortunately, the constant clamouring ot use our calculators ~SORTA~ cought the attention of Ms. Li and she was like WHAT DO YOU NEED YOUR CALCULATORS FOR???
Dammit I REALLY hope I got those freaking charge transfers correct. Or like wow 8 marks down the drain for the surprise quiz.
So sad she banned us from bringing our…GCs into the lab NOOOOOOOO but u noe, playing with them flashing bulbs is fun. But I maintain that calcs are fun-ner.
Had Chinese spelling. Fortunately due to the bonus questions I am saved. XD. Dunno wut’s our teacher’s problem go get such a complicated name. LOL.
Daryl was so totally pwned by Mr. Lim today. But the rest was…boring…of course, because I wasn’t listening and programming my calc…I can’t REALLY be a judge…