How do you squeeze five hours of awesomeness into one blog post? (Yes it’s alive. Again. After my traumatisation at the receiving of various examination scripts. Although it was good to know I did better than generally expected)
(Just gonna leave it at that)
Oh, what was I going to talk about? Right. Awesomeness.
It more or less started when trainer Ramesh asked how many of us reckoned this was going to be a complete waste of time.
Mmm. *licks lips* Good start?
Ramesh: My pubic speaking career started around…when I was eight. At that age I had to participate in a…story telling competition in Tamil (Ramesh, by the way, is half Tamil and half German Shepherd XD). And on the day itself I was so nervous I was sweating so much. And at that time I still distinctly remember it was some stupid story about the stupid crow who dropped rocks into a well or bottle to get the water. And at that time I was this fat, shy, boy who—
Me: You could have been the…stones.
Ramesh: I could be the rock. Heh. Anyway I suddenly felt this odd…rumbling from somewhere deep in my stomach. And then…
Class: OMGZZZ
Ramesh: The projectile motion was so…precise. Maybe one day I can do a study. You know, like the splatter shot when a paintball hits someone? *phish* Then, all the kids did what kindergarten kids were best at *stands up* *points finger* EEH! My teacher went up, wiped my mouth, told me to drink a bottle of water in front of all the kids, while I thought heng, torture over, until she was done and said ‘Continue’
It is quite sad that Indian jokes are racist the moment it isn’t an Indian who is doing the telling. Darn.
*skips ahead to where we has this exercise*
Ramesh: In this exercise we will have all of you come to the front before turning around for the “audience” to give a standing ovation!
And do that we did. All 24 of us. Obviously I don’t have that much space up here, with up here referring to my head, so…those most memorable?
Ramesh to LIM JECK: Dude. YOU ARE NOT EATING ENOUGH! Make sure that, if you’re walking along the street on a windy day, don’t jump. Or the wind might just pick you up and…whoosh! You have to hold on to…someone like him *points at da JIT, who smiles and stares*
Ramesh to JIT: You…need…to get in the sun. More. Anyone thinks he seriously looks like the…the…whoever in Twilight.
Class: LMAO
Ramesh: O.o why the reaction
Me: There was this opera of “Twilight” we planned and…we planned for him to be Edward XD
Ramesh: Oh, I see…*turns to Jit* see, you have such evil friends :P
Ramesh to ME(yes this is me and my god complex. Or just my god complex.) : OK. I will tell you, that this is the type of person who will do well, get married, have a good family, and have a successful life.
*after ovation*
Ramesh: Of course, you’re also the type who should NOT take what anyone says seriously.
:P
Ramesh to CLAIRE: You…will meet many guys, who will break up with you, and leave you heartbroken. And when you’re heartbroken enough, you will go get a tattoo that says SCIENCE ROCKS
Claire: Mmm…I’ll go get one right after this. XD
Ramesh to TSEREN: Oh you’re Mongolian :O *to James and YJ* I thought Koreans were cool but, really sorry, he’s Mongolian. Once in a lifetime man! Gonna take a pic with him later :D So, how was the voyage here?
Tseren: Oh…very bumpy. A few thousand kilometers on horseback does that.
Ramesh: So how long did you spend in Mongolia before coming over?
Tseren: Oh…not much time. I lived in Sweden at first.
Ramesh: Ah…so how were the women?
Tseren: Oh, Blonde, tall, pretty…
Ramesh: Tall? That’s good, you don’t have to look at them at eye level.
Ramesh to DH: (darn that guy was just devastating him all the way :P) *looks up one head* *turns to us* How many girlfriends does this guy have?
Me: NONE LMAO
Ramesh: Sure or not? Tsk. You’re in basketball team right?
DH: Yea…?
Ramesh: Ah. I know your type. Those who look cool in high school, uni, and then never amount to anything because they don’t have the brain needed. But it’s OK. Since you’re in the basketball team, you’ll just be bouncing balls all day long.
*some time later*
Ramesh: So, you can sit there and think about that. Oh wait. You can’t. But it’s OK, because whenever someone throws something at a basketball player, he will bounce right back. :D
But, as he made clear, all in good humour. And while we’re on the topic of humour…
Ramesh: The second type of laghter that girls have, is the laughing-without trying to laugh. Tell me a nerd joke…what’s your name?
James: James.
Ramesh: Wow, that’s such a…Korean name! OK nvm just say “nerd joke”
James: nerd joke.
Ramesh: *constipated expression* Now you see, the problem with this kind of laughter is that…laughter is supposed to be the expulsion of air from the mouth when you find something funny. So if you refuse to let the air out of your mouth, it’s going to have to come out somewhere else. That often results in some girls exploding off their seats whenever somebody tells a joke. If the joke is funny enough, they’d rocket all the way to the moon!
Hey, where’d you come from?
Um, couldn’t laugh hard enough at a joke.
Epic just doesn’t cut it when you realize your trainer is a composer and instrumentalist besides being a professional public speaker.
Moving on.
Ramesh to NAT: do you think public speaking is important?
NAT: Urm…dunno?
Ramesh: Public speaking is important. If you don’t have mastery over public speaking, then yu can be a computer worker or a bank manager. But even if you are a bank manager, eventually you have to present your views to those who work below you. If you can’t do that openly, you can speak privately. Do you wish to speak privately to me?
Nat: No…
Ramesh: OK let’s do that all over again. *wrrhhh* Is public speaking important?
Nat: Yes.
XD
Ramesh: some of the problem kids can be…distressing. I once talked to this kid wo stabed someone else. When I asked him why he did it, he said:
For fun lurrh
So I was like…*edging away* urm…you might want to have a change in…hobby? Like, pick up Angry Birds of something? Piuu…splat!
Class: LOL
Ramesh: Yup I can see a lot of AB fans out there.
Good times.XD
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